Accepting Burnout & Needing More Pennies

Guess what? I am burned out. It never occurred to me that burnout would happen to me. I am getting client work done, I am spending time with family (even in the midst of coronavirus and its shutdown).

What am I not doing?

1. Writing my paranormal women’s fiction novel

2. Crocheting while I watch tv at night

3. Reading a book and attempting to concentrate on it

4. Reading my tarot cards in the morning

5. Reading my Lenormand cards to start my week off

What brings me joy? I don’t know… honestly.

Spending time with my grandsons brings me joy and when I am with them I am wholly focused on them. BUT spending time with them means I am not getting work done. That means once I am back at work I need to “catch up.” Not everything I do is time-sensitive. Some of it is, but not all.

The pressure I am putting on myself though is writing my paranormal women’s fiction novel. I have had numerous zoom meetings with my author/business colleague over at Author Creative Solutions. She has helped me brainstorm. We have walked through outlines for my book. THEN I walk away so excited. I will write on it for a day then I find a new, bright, shiny idea and off I go down that rabbit trail. My fully outlined novel is tossed aside while I chase the new idea.

Accepting Burnout & Needing More Pennies

Once I grab the new idea, lightly plot it and start writing I get bored of it. I can’t carry on.

I Am Burned Out!

Have you ever heard of starting your day with a specific number of spoons or pennies?

Let’s say you start your day with ten pennies.

1. An email from a client who urgently needs something that means you have to stop doing something else “spends” your pennies.

2. Being on zoom after zoom after zoom spends your pennies.

3. Looking at the to-do list and seeing what you didn’t get to spends pennies

4. Walking the dogs, thinking about vacuuming the house, doing laundry, perhaps starting dinner… spends pennies

5. Interruptions, distractions, not feeling like you’re accomplishing something you really want to (writing and publishing a paranormal women’s fiction novel for example) spends pennies

6. And on and on until you have no more pennies left. You’re exhausted. You can’t see light at the end of the tunnel. You need more pennies.

Let’s say you can replenish your pennies — which you can. How?

1. Working on a hobby you love

2. Reading a book

3. Spending time with friends (thank you covid for taking that away)

4. Walking the dogs without fear of a loose dog coming after you (yep, that’s me)

5. Eating a meal you love

6. Just relaxing and doing absolutely nothing

7. Spending time with tarot cards or Lenormand cards

8. Eating ice cream (and not worrying about health issues because you’ll be spending pennies instead of replenishing)

9. Meditating

10. Taking a long, hot bath with a glass of wine

11. Getting on a zoom with a friend and completely losing track of time

12. Whatever it is that makes you happy and feeling replenished

I realized that lately I am so burned out and so bereft of pennies and have not been replenishing them because even what I love to do seems to spend pennies.

What can I do?

1. I need to choose ONE thing and make a change. What one thing? Not checking emails in the morning. Grabbing my tarot cards, pulling one and reading it at the kitchen table because trying to do it at my desk is too distracting. Asking my husband to go for a walk with me so I don’t spend pennies because I am afraid of loose dogs. Zooming with a friend rather than thinking… I am so tired I just want to get away from the computer because I KNOW once I have that Zoom I will have new pennies.

2. I can’t do it all. I can’t make all the changes I need to make. I do need to write down the changes I need to make in order to: stop spending so many pennies and find ways to replenish them so I am not running on an empty penny reserve and perhaps even borrowing pennies from the next day and the next. Write down ALL that I want to do then pick ONE.